I miss the old days of messy conversations. You know, the kind where you’d walk away thinking “huh, I never thought of it that way.” The kind that made you feel like you’d actually learned something.

Those conversations were spirited, but not argumentative. They were the kind that changed your viewpoint, even if only slightly. They were the kind that made you realize that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t entirely right. Even with that one friend who you love but will fight him on who’s the best batsman.

But those conversations are getting rarer by the day. It’s like we’ve lost the ability to talk to each other without trying to “win” or “lose.” We’ve lost the art of listening, of considering, of being open to change.

And it’s not just about politics or social media. It’s about the way we approach conversations in general. We’re so afraid of disagreement that we’d rather not have the conversation at all. We’d rather stick to our echo chambers, where everyone agrees with us and we can feel safe and smug.

But that’s not how we grow. That’s not how we learn. That’s not how we become better versions of ourselves.

Last year, I stumbled upon the intro to Trevor Noah’s podcast “What Now”, and it resonated deeply with me. He talks about how we’re living in a time where we’re more divided than ever, and how we need to find a way to have conversations that bring us together, rather than drive us further apart. I was excited to dive in, thinking I’d finally found a space where people were having the kinds of messy conversations I’ve been missing.

But as I listened to more episodes, the podcast didn’t quite live up to its promise. The conversations were often too polished - although still very informative and fun. But at times it was like they were tiptoeing around the really tough topics, rather than diving in and getting messy (Sam Altman’s interview stood out).

But that’s what I’m looking for – a space where people can have real, honest, and sometimes uncomfortable conversations. A space where we can disagree without being disagreeable. Where we can learn from each other, even when we don’t see eye-to-eye. It does not have to be all intense though. Sometimes, the best way to say it is with humor. In fact, that should be the default, in an ideal world.

So, I’m still searching for that space. I’m still searching for people who are willing to get messy, to listen, and to learn. If you’re out there, let’s start a conversation. Let’s get messy.