Some guy from Jharkhand stabbed a Kannadiga bus conductor in a BMTC bus in Bengaluru.

The identities involved: “from Jharkhand” and “Kannadiga”. Sure, they had names, they had individuality, but none of that mattered. It didn’t further the narrative.

So, their associated labels were used instead.

One was the victim. But even that label was meaningless unless paired with the right opposing tags.

Because once you have the right labels, news gets more engaging - for those who relate to them.

So, what should be the right labels? Of course, the ones that the largest groups of people identify with and would clash on.

You see, this last part is important - that the labels you ascribe should polarize.

What’s the story if you just say one mammal stabbed another? Mammals aren’t at war. Hindus and Muslims are. Apparently, Kannadigas and non-Kannadigas are. The labels are at war.

News is not in the act of crime. It’s in the identity of criminals.

So, yeah, getting the labels right is how you sell news. If you want ‘truth,’ go back to utopia - there’s no market for that.

I wonder what every headline would look like if we just slapped gender on everything. It’d all be “man kills,” “man rapes,” “man scams,” etc. And the victims? Women. Probably 60% of the time, maybe 50%, who’s counting.

So, the natural call then should be - this "man" thing is pretty dangerous! It is aggressive, brute, doesn’t understand the women’s issues, no culture. No sense. Asks everyone to talk like him, walk like him, be like him (Be a man! Fight like a man, power dressing!). He thinks it’s a "man’s world!" Let’s get rid of all the men!

But that won’t work. Too many eyeballs would be offended. No one’s losing 70% of their audience, right?

So you see, there’s a nuance in picking the right labels for your “news.”

And once you’ve found a set of labels, stick with them. It generates outrage, drives traffic, boosts engagement, increases revenue.

Sometimes - often, actually - you can make the news create events and change behaviours. Instead of the other way round.

Stick with it until you find better labels. The ones that last. Ideally, those historically in conflict - religion-based, caste-based, region-based. Evergreen choices.

But don’t miss the trends - ride those waves too. Remember that “man vs. woman” angle? It spurts every now and then. Ride those highs.

And that, my friend, is how you sell the news night.

So yeah, I started my day on the wrong note - caught up in one of those “news” pieces. It was sold just right.

And so “right” that it was in one of my WhatsApp groups. The one with very educated, well-to-do, nice guys. No girls allowed. Thank you.